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So I haven’t blogged about it yet and I’m not sure why…maybe it makes it more real when it’s recorded on paper, but I think it’ll be something I’ll want to look back on in years to come.
Let’s start with this: April 30th was a crappy day. John had a speech he had to give in Cooperstown so we decided the girls and I would tag along and walk around the town while he did his thing. We had a prior suspicion that our little Bean’s body didn’t like peanuts much, but was told by our pediatrician that we should keep trying little bits of it every few months to see if her body would learn to adjust to the protein. My genius self thought the day we were going out of town would be a good day to let her take a bit of my english muffin with peanut butter. No sooner did the peanut butter hit her mouth she was clawing at her mouth and eyes and yelling “yuck!!!”, and within minutes complained of itchy eyes. Well, this was something we had seen before and it always went away on it’s own within 10 minutes so we didn’t react nearly the way we should have and proceeded to get in the car and go about our day. About 20 minutes later in the car, we realized her right eye was swollen almost shut and she was still complaining about her eyes hurting and itching. We pulled over to give her some Benadryl, still not thinking about how bad this could have been and drove on…when the Benadryl hadn’t taken down the swelling even a bit over 45 minutes later we started to panic and called our doctor. Luckily, we were told as long as she was having no difficulty breathing (which she wasn’t) and her mouth/tongue wasn’t swollen, she was probably ok for now, but after a visit to the pediatrician that afternoon, it was suggested that we see an allergist asap. A week later, we did just that (and it was an excruciating week) and learned through a prick test that she was highly allergic to not only peanuts, but tree nuts as well.
Thanks to a serious lack of answers on how her little body would react to even the more minuscule amount of peanut or nut protein, our world has been somewhat been turned upside down by proceeding under the worst case scenario at all times. We’ve emptied and re-filled our cabinets. We’ve been trained (and re-trained) on the use of epi-pens. We’ve learned the ins and outs of reading, interpreting and trusting food labels. We’ve fought with companies over their those same practices. We stress about whether or not her schools can keep her safe. We are trying to figure out how to possibly educate a 3 year old on why she now wears a bracelet and what this why she can no longer eat m&ms among other favorite treats. And most scary, we deal with the intense fear of an unknown cross contamination just about every place we go once we leave the safety of our house.
We are slowly adjusting. Things aren’t the same. They won’t be. Playgroups now scare the crap out of me rather than provide a solitude where she can freely play with her friends. Even shopping carts freak me out. We used to be a pretty spontaneous family and would often head out to dinner wherever our hearts desired. Now, that requires a call ahead to a manager, chef cards, another talk with the waitress and starting intently at her as she puts every bite into her mouth and an overreaction to even the slightest red mark anywhere on her face…I could go on and on. But we are adjusting. And we’re told it gets better. I hope they are right.